Borges\u2019in \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne yak\u0131n kat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir televizyon program\u0131n\u0131n kayd\u0131nda yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir Thomas Carlyle al\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 an\u0131ms\u0131yorum: T\u00fcm \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar sa\u00e7mal\u0131kt\u0131r; ancak \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak sa\u00e7mal\u0131k de\u011fildir. Bu s\u00f6z\u00fc ilk duydu\u011fumda yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m ancak sonu\u00e7lar\u0131ndan memnun kalamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m ancak sonucunun ne olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kestiremedi\u011fim t\u00fcm i\u015flere yeniden tutunmaya dair kuvvetli bir g\u00fcd\u00fc duydum. Sonucu de\u011fil s\u00fcreci, i\u015fin kendisini, anlam kayna\u011f\u0131 tayin eden s\u00f6ylemler aras\u0131nda beni ikna etmeyi en \u00e7ok ba\u015faran bu olmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n
Ayn\u0131 amac\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131yan s\u00f6ylemler ku\u015fkusuz Borges\u2019in ya\u015famay\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc zamanlarda ya\u015fayanlar i\u00e7in \u00e7ok daha etkili olurdu. Gelece\u011fe dair tasar\u0131lar\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131n daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 kazanmam\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu de\u011fi\u015fme h\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda rastgele s\u00f6ylemler olman\u0131n \u00f6tesine \u00e7o\u011funlukla ge\u00e7emedi\u011fi \u00e7a\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ko\u015fullar\u0131nda belirsizlik bir istisna olman\u0131n \u00e7ok uza\u011f\u0131nda. \u00d6zellikle mensubu oldu\u011fum gen\u00e7 n\u00fcfus i\u00e7in icra edece\u011fi mesle\u011fi, ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131 \u015fehri kestirmek dahi \u00e7o\u011funlukla imkans\u0131z. Bu ko\u015fullar alt\u0131nda ya\u015famay\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcren bir bireyin gelece\u011fi \u015fekillendirmeye y\u00f6nelik tasar\u0131 ve edimlerini sonu\u00e7lar \u00e7evresinde anlamland\u0131rmas\u0131 olanaks\u0131z. Borges, de\u011findi\u011fim al\u0131nt\u0131y\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne yakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kavrad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda i\u00e7selle\u015ftirmi\u015fti. Bundan k\u0131rk y\u0131l \u00f6nce, gelecek ancak \u00f6l\u00fcm olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan bu denli tasarlanamaz hale getirilebilirdi. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde, biz ony\u0131llarca ya\u015fayacak olsak dahi tasar\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrecek de\u011fi\u015fimler hen\u00fcz tasar\u0131 zihnimizde tam olarak \u015fekillendirilmeden ger\u00e7ekle\u015fme e\u011filiminde.<\/p>\n
S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc etti\u011fim de\u011fi\u015fme h\u0131z\u0131 a\u015fkta, arkada\u015fl\u0131kta, i\u015f hayat\u0131nda en \u00e7ok g\u00f6ze batan haliyle var oluyor. Mezunu oldu\u011fumuz b\u00f6l\u00fcmle ilgisi olmayan bir i\u015fle u\u011fra\u015facak olma olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00e7ok y\u00fcksek. Babalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n mesle\u011fini s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmeyece\u011fiz. Tutundu\u011fumuz insanlarla olan ili\u015fkimizi ony\u0131llar boyunca s\u00fcrd\u00fcrebilece\u011fimiz d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesinden \u00e7oktan cayd\u0131k. Haliyle hizmete, di\u011ferinin iyili\u011fi u\u011fruna hareket etmeye dair de\u011ferlere kar\u015f\u0131 k\u00f6rle\u015fiyoruz. Di\u011ferleri i\u00e7in bizi yararl\u0131 ve de\u011ferli kalacak niteli\u011fin ne oldu\u011funa, de\u011fer verilmeyi kimden umaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131za dair sabit bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce edinme f\u0131rsat\u0131m\u0131z yok. Kal\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n kaybolan bir de\u011fer oldu\u011fu bilinen, literat\u00fcrde defalarca vurgulanm\u0131\u015f bir olgu. Bu olguyu daha fazla a\u00e7\u0131klamak yahut onu oldu\u011fundan daha da b\u00fcy\u00fck g\u00f6stermek gibi bir niyetim yok. De\u011finmek istedi\u011fim, kal\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n ve hizmetin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ko\u015fullarda hareket etmeyi, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmay\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmek ad\u0131na bizleri ikna etme g\u00f6revini \u00fcstlenen; i\u015fin anlam\u0131n\u0131, sonuca ve di\u011ferlerinin yarar\u0131na dair beklentilerin s\u0131rt\u0131ndan al\u0131p s\u00fcrecin, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma eyleminin s\u0131rt\u0131na y\u00fckleyen s\u00f6ylemlere i\u00e7tenlikle inanman\u0131n de\u011ferler d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda yarataca\u011f\u0131 de\u011fi\u015fim.<\/p>\n
Bu s\u00f6ylemler bir \u00e7aresizli\u011fin sonucu oldu\u011fu gibi, g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrdeki tek \u00e7arenin ge\u00e7erlili\u011fini vurguluyor. Bir tasar\u0131y\u0131, ucunun nereye varaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kestiremeksizin, ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirmeye y\u00f6nelmek yi\u011fit\u00e7e bir giri\u015fim oldu\u011fu gibi sonu\u00e7la ilgili \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131m yapman\u0131n olanaks\u0131z oldu\u011fu senaryolarda ki\u015fiyi ta\u015fla\u015fmaktan kurtarabilecek tek tutum. Belirsizlik, zamandan ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z olarak insan hayat\u0131n\u0131n bir par\u00e7as\u0131 iken onunla y\u00fczle\u015fen insan tekrar tekrar bu yakla\u015f\u0131m taraf\u0131ndan hayatta tutulmu\u015f olmal\u0131. Ancak belirsizli\u011fin hayat\u0131n bir par\u00e7as\u0131 de\u011fil kendisi haline geldi\u011fi ko\u015fullarda bu yakla\u015f\u0131m bizlere bir bedel \u00f6detmek zorunda kal\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc etti\u011fimiz k\u00f6r ve yi\u011fit\u00e7e adanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 eylemlerinin meyvesizli\u011fini akl\u0131na dahi getirmeden, mutlulukla sergileyen bir ki\u015fi hayal edelim. Bu ki\u015fi, v\u00fccudunun kuvveti ve esteti\u011fini y\u00fcce bir ama\u00e7, bir sava\u015f ya da m\u00fcdafaa s\u00f6z konusu olmaks\u0131z\u0131n geli\u015ftirmeyi ilke edinmi\u015f bir \u2018\u2019gym faresi\u2019\u2019 olabilir. Yahut bu ki\u015fi, \u00f6\u011frendiklerini di\u011ferlerine aktarmay\u0131 i\u00e7eren bir kariyerin gelecekteki olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 akl\u0131na dahi getirmeden okuyup \u00f6\u011frenmeyi s\u00fcrd\u00fcren bir kitap kurdudur. B\u00f6ylesine bir adanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131k, belirsizli\u011fin ve ama\u00e7s\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n cayd\u0131r\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 bir isyancas\u0131na sergilenen \u00e7abada eksik olan, bu \u00e7aban\u0131n ki\u015finin kendisinden daha b\u00fcy\u00fck g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bir olguya hizmet etmeyi ama\u00e7lam\u0131yor olmas\u0131. \u00c7al\u0131\u015fman\u0131n, ki\u015finin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda var olan d\u00fcnyada var edilmek istenen bir de\u011fi\u015fimi, hatta di\u011ferlerinin takdirini ama\u00e7l\u0131yor olmaktan uzakta, solipsist bir \u00e7er\u00e7eve i\u00e7erisinde anlamland\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 yeni bir tan\u0131m\u0131 olu\u015fmakta.<\/p>\n
\u00c7al\u0131\u015fman\u0131n kutsall\u0131\u011f\u0131 insanl\u0131k tarihi boyunca bir \u00e7e\u015fit hizmet, kom\u00fcnitenin refah\u0131 u\u011fruna sergilenen bir \u00e7e\u015fit fedakarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n anlat\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7evresinde \u015fekillenmi\u015fken ne yahut kim i\u00e7in oldu\u011funu bilmeksizin bir \u00e7abada \u0131srarc\u0131 olan ki\u015fi \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 neye dayanarak anlamland\u0131r\u0131yor? Cevap \u00e7al\u0131\u015fman\u0131n kendisi ise ve s\u00f6z konusu \u00e7al\u0131\u015fman\u0131n kazan\u0131mlar\u0131 yaln\u0131zca sahibini ilgilendiriyorsa sat\u0131r aralar\u0131nda gizlenen cevap \u2018\u2019kendi\u2019\u2019 olmal\u0131. \u0130\u015f ve ama\u00e7 yan yana d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, ama\u00e7 su g\u00f6t\u00fcrmeksizin s\u00f6z konusu i\u015fin bir di\u011ferinin, birey d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda var olan d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u00fczerinde yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 etkiyi kaps\u0131yorken; amac\u0131 denklemden \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda, denklemin i\u00e7erisinde tek ba\u015f\u0131na kalan birey, yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 her \u015feyi kendi i\u00e7in yapmakla g\u00fcd\u00fclenmi\u015f oluyor.<\/p>\n
Bunu yaparak mutlu olmak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn m\u00fc bilmiyorum; ancak fark\u0131nday\u0131m ki motivasyon, kendini geli\u015ftirme, potansiyeline ula\u015fmak gibi zihnimize ve dilimize yerle\u015fmi\u015f, harekete ge\u00e7menin anlam\u0131n\u0131 ama\u00e7 yahut sonu\u00e7tan i\u015fin kendisine nakletmeyi vaat eden kavramlar, gizliden gizliye bencilli\u011fe bir de\u011fer niteli\u011fi atfetmekte. Ba\u015f\u0131ndan beri s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc etti\u011fim, beni de i\u00e7ine almay\u0131 ba\u015farm\u0131\u015f kavray\u0131\u015f\u0131n eninde sonunda s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 \u2018\u2019ben\u2019\u2019 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesine dayad\u0131\u011f\u0131na kanaat getirmi\u015f durumday\u0131m. Bunu iyi ve k\u00f6t\u00fc \u00e7evresinde d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek istemiyorum, \u2018\u2019kendi\u2019\u2019yi \u015fi\u015firmek ve geli\u015ftirmek ad\u0131na harcanan bir ya\u015fam s\u00fcresince mutlu olman\u0131n m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 benim neslimin hayat\u0131n\u0131 izledik\u00e7e \u00f6\u011frenece\u011fiz. Kendi ad\u0131ma, bunun olanakl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u015f\u00fcphe ile yakla\u015fmaktan cayabilmi\u015f ve kendimi belirsizlikle bu \u015fekilde ba\u015f etmeye ikna edebilmi\u015f de\u011filim.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Borges\u2019in \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne yak\u0131n kat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir televizyon program\u0131n\u0131n kayd\u0131nda yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir Thomas Carlyle al\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 an\u0131ms\u0131yorum: T\u00fcm \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar sa\u00e7mal\u0131kt\u0131r; ancak \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak sa\u00e7mal\u0131k de\u011fildir. Bu s\u00f6z\u00fc ilk duydu\u011fumda yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m ancak sonu\u00e7lar\u0131ndan memnun kalamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m ancak sonucunun ne olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kestiremedi\u011fim t\u00fcm i\u015flere yeniden tutunmaya dair kuvvetli bir g\u00fcd\u00fc duydum. Sonucu de\u011fil s\u00fcreci, i\u015fin kendisini, anlam kayna\u011f\u0131 tayin eden s\u00f6ylemler […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9100,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-denemeyazilari"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.metu.edu.tr\/e242484\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.metu.edu.tr\/e242484\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.metu.edu.tr\/e242484\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.metu.edu.tr\/e242484\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9100"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.metu.edu.tr\/e242484\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.metu.edu.tr\/e242484\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.metu.edu.tr\/e242484\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.metu.edu.tr\/e242484\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.metu.edu.tr\/e242484\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}